decisions...

quite sick of making choices and deciding on things.....
there ISN"T ENOUGH TIME~!!!!!!

things i would like to get done by this acedemic year.
1) push up my CAP away from it's current atrotious level
2)study harder and DO MY READINGS (drats, i hate being a habitual procrastanist)
3)watch my anime~!!! (FMP! - The second raid is out~!) try to read some manga.. (bleach)
4)watch jap drama-edey
5)sleep and slack
6)get a SOLID dose of rock into my perished soul
7)chill
8)ensure my tuitees get decently good grades (i have strong working ethics okay~!)
9)get my UROPS on track (*cries* this is the hardest i guess)
10)spend time on art, i'm definitely losing my touch... =*(

as you can see....
my goals all contradict each other (i am a very confusing person...) *sigh*
what to do? my dual OS suck.... (FYI: i run on dual OS.. there's the male one and the female one and they always crash each other's systems... causing an infinite lag and backlog of rubbish running in the background that cannot be Ctl+Alt+Del..)

been thinking of should i learn how to drive so i can drive my mummy around and go places instead of waiting for silly public transport that goes a LONG way just to get from one pt to the other which by car takes a miserly 15min but by bus takes like an hour...

a few considerations:
oil prices, maintainace of car... $$$$, lack of time(erm u guys know how tight my schedule is la)
thus i decided to see how next sem is like then decide la. coz 2 out of my 3 tuition is graduating from jc so i wun teach them anymore *teary eyed* then i'll be free-er but MUCH poor-er...
maybe can get my dad to fund my "education" haha. but is the price of him nagging at me worth it? O_o? *hmmm* will consider... drats there goes my "independence" thingy that i have been doing for the past 3 yrs of not taking $ from my parents.

then there is the entire fiasco of should i invite pple over my place for my 21st... in actual fact i dun understand why pple make such a big who-ha abt the 21st. =/ i mean it's like we are getting OLD....ANCIENT... KAPUT..... do u guys not know that~!!!! and we are celebrating our slow and eventual DESMISE???
but decided that i really want to invite frens over to cook them a simple meal or something to thank them for tolerating my nonsense, crap and what-not. (i generally hover btw irritating and boring) but my house can onli fit in 20 odd pple at the most. sigh. who should i invite (or not invite)? what should i feed them with? will they be bored? will i get saboh-ed? (actually the ans to the last qn is definitely a YES, onli thing that i'm worried is the degree.. EH. pple who are OLD dun take such trauma well okay~!)

then there is now the whole "should i get attached" question hovering in my mind. (DUN YOU DARE TEASE/LAUGH) my male OS has been feeding my mind with nonsense such as "there's no harm what i mean like if someone likes you then just go out with him and c how la" then the female OS goes" but u dun really like him what! he's not even the type that you like..." or "it's impossible btw us, since i can see the potential problems that will arise if we got together will be quite terrible" and there is the "He's just a fren, who treats me like a brother, and i think he can jolly well deserves better, maybe that girl that is interested in him and that he mentioned to me before".... sigh. decided that life was so much simpler in jc, where i was blissfully ignorant.

i miss having a life. i miss doing STUPID EVIL things to pple. i losing my touch and there is the stupid voice in my head that goes" you can't do horrible things to pple anymore since you are now OLD and no longer protected by the "she's young and so pple tolerate her nonsense" thingy" sigh. i miss my art of being sarcastic. the pharmacy guys are too nice and dun tolerate my suanning that well, and there is a TCHS guy who happens to be my good pharm fren's bf so i can't torture him with mental abuse anymore. =( I miss my lao-gong (guitar) that has "eloped" with my bro since my bro is in guitar now, plus i dun haf time to practice no more (see my commitments above)

sad.

will hopefully try my hardest to clear my stuff and try work my evil side before october descends and i am officially OLD since i'm an "adult " liao. TCHS guys beware and stay AWAY... or thread at your own PERIL.... *muah hahaha* man. that evil laugh felt good. >=D *evil grin*

k it's late and i got to go and settle my urops and dfd stuff for mon. but first a nice bath. adios
./end